Humanning is harder than we give it credit. It’s one of the reasons we have a hard time with confidence.
We’re delving into Lesson 3 of our journey towards confidence: ‘Confidence while Humanning.’ It’s a reality check because, let’s face it, knowing how you want to feel is one thing, but humanness can throw a curveball into the mix.
As humans, we’re wired for survival more than thriving. It’s in our DNA.
Surviving is running away from what we don’t want. Thriving is running towards what we do want. We are still evolving into thriving after 1000s of years of survival.
But thriving is what we’re after, right? Let’s explore how humanness—our thoughts, emotions, and old beliefs—can sometimes get in the way of our confidence journey.
Humanness isn’t easy. We have thoughts, emotions, and old, old beliefs that can cloud our path to confidence. One common hurdle is anxiety, especially during midlife transitions.
How many of us really planned past 50? I know I didn’t. I thought it would just all be settled and peaches’n’cream by then.
Anxiety often stems from expecting the worst outcome. But here’s the truth—thoughts are not always true.
Thoughts fuel anxiety, and it’s essential to bring them more balance. We often think we’re solving things, but we might be working ourselves into an unnecessary panic without realizing it.
It’s all about VALIDating your thoughts so you know if you are empowering yourself or self-sabotaging.
Tool Kit for Lesson 3:
2 Quick Questions:
Pause and ask yourself:
Is that true? Challenge your beliefs.
What if the opposite could also be true? It’s a powerful exercise to rethink your beliefs and gain a more balanced perspective.
If more than one thing can be true, what we are thinking is not data – it’s just one way our brains is worrying or filling in gaps without true data.
VALIDating your thoughts:
Want to know if your thoughts are serving you? Run them through the VALID qualifications. If you can say no about any of these, it might be time to expand your perspective.
Is your thought:
VALUABLE? Is there a good reason to be thinking about this right now or am I just beating myself up with this story?
ALIGNED with what I want? Does it inspire me or help me make what I want happen?
LOVING? Is it spoken with kindness and compassion?
IMPERATIVE? Is it something I can & do something about right now?
DATA & DIRECT? Is this true data or assumptions? Is it direct or indirect communication like passive-aggressive poking or exaggerated info?
Can you shift this thought to be VALID or do you need a new belief?
Visualization: Sifting for Truth
In visualization, we can shut down our critical judge and just notice the wisdom that comes up.
How did you feel before visualizing?
How did you feel after?
What did the beach look like for you? Smell like? Sound like?
What did your colander look like?
What was the sand like?
What gems did you find?
What did they represent?
Which did you release?
What did you keep?
What are the truest and most beautiful stories you came up with?
What evidence do you have?
How will you look for that evidence in the world?
How will you keep your focus?
What actions can you take to see more of this in the world?
(Meaning: if you want to see beauty, can you go to a flower garden or a museum? Make it easy to get what you want at first. It will multiply.)
As we continue on this journey together, let’s face humanness head-on. Confidence while humanning is not about perfection; it’s about navigating the challenges with grace.
Stay confident, stay empowered, and I’ll see you in the next lesson.