Desire is about thriving, not surviving… and is fundamental for confidence.
I’m thrilled to share with you Lesson 2 on our journey to greater confidence and fulfillment: ‘Desire is essential.’ This lesson delves into the profound connection between our desires and how that defines who we are and what we truly crave.
What we love defines us better than anything else. Our desires are not random; they guide us toward a life that aligns with our true selves. Understanding this connection is the key to unlocking a more confident and fulfilling life
Human behavior flows from three main sources: desire, emotion, and knowledge. -Plato
We’re going to talk about emotion and knowledge in future lessons, but today I want to talk about desire.
Think about it—what you love, what you desire, speaks volumes about who you are. It’s a reflection of your authentic self. So, pay attention to your desires; they are informing you about your deepest aspirations and what we truly want.
Whenever I ask women about what they want to change in their lives, they tell me not this – not this conflict in this relationship, not this confusion about my job situation, not this. While not this is the start of what we desire, it’s not truly what we want. It’s what we don’t.
This is the difference between surviving and thriving. Surviving is running away from what we don’t want. Thriving is running towards something we want. Our DNA is made to survive. For thousands of years our brains have been focused on survival.
The problem is, most of us are safe on a day-to-day basis. We may be truly uncomfortable, but most days we aren’t running from bears or wolves. We’re stressed – which means we go through a lot of uncomfortable feelings and anxious thoughts – not true immediate danger.
Our brains are focused on survival. We have to learn to thrive.
Thriving is being focused on what we truly want. Not solving problems. Not just barely getting to shore and safety – but dreaming well beyond that.
So if we say we want to be happy, we have to get clear on what happy feels like for us. If we want to be confident, we have to get clear on what confidence would feel like.
Then we have to take those feelings with us and align to them.
Setting intentions is a powerful practice. It’s about consciously deciding the feelings and experiences you want to cultivate in your life. If you want to feel confident, set the intention to be confident in every situation by focusing on what confidence would feel like and name them as your guiding focuses. Note: words like confidence and happy can be tuned out because they are so overused – we may not even know what they truly feel like anymore. That’s why I ask you to define what confidence feels like for you. What other words can you use to tune into confidence?
But intentions alone are not enough. We need to align our thoughts, actions, and energy with our intentions. This alignment is the bridge between where you are now and where you want to be.
Action is the catalyst for change. Ask yourself, what do you want to feel more than anything else? Once you identify that feeling, take intentional actions that align with it. Make choices in alignment with it, show up that way intentionally and infuse your day with activities that are likely to help you feel that way.
This is the path to confidence.
Let’s practice feeling into confidence.
Close your eyes and imagine what confidence feels like to you. Picture yourself walking, talking, and interacting with the world with unwavering confidence.
How would it feel to show up confident? For yourself? In your relationships?
Confidence can manifest in various emotions. It could feel like courage, certainty, or even excitement. Tune into the feeling words that bring excitement — and may even feel like a bit of a stretch. They will keep you inspired and intentional.
As you embark on this journey of self-discovery and confidence-building, remember that your desires are guiding you. Bring the feelings you desire with you, set intentions, align with them, and take intentional actions. You have the power to shape the life you want… truly you do.