Lesson 1: Confidence is a skill.

Confidence is a skill, not a feeling.

Repeat that as many times as needed.

Contrary to common belief, confidence is not just a feeling. It’s a skill—the skill of moving forward even when faced with fear. Now, this is crucial because it means that anyone, including you, can learn it.

We’re talking about true confidence – like feeling so connected and trusting of ourselves that we can move forward knowing that regardless of what happens, we’ll be able to handle it. It might be uncomfortable and truly challenging, and confidence says I got it!

Even if you’ve never felt confident before, even if the aging process has got you down, remember that confidence is something you can cultivate.

Now, let’s talk about an essential aspect of building confidence—getting into our body. Our bodies hold incredible wisdom, and by connecting with them, we can unlock a powerful source of confidence. Connecting to our true inner intelligence in our body is essential to confidence. You have wisdom, an inner voice, your soul – however you look at it. The problem is we stay so busy in our brains that we don’t hear our essential wisdom within. We look at logic, practicality and efficiency. Our body wisdom is not concerned with those things. It’s concerned with your true essence instead of the things you’ve learned from life, experience, other people, etc. 

Our feelings are in our body. I know many of us have been taught to ignore feeling – let’s face it for those in the Gen X era, most of the time, our feelings didn’t count and we were told not to worry about how we feel. In fact, being ‘sensitive’ was a flaw. I want to shift your thinking on this.  

Feelings are like signposts guiding us through life. When we learn to interpret them, we gain valuable insights. But here’s the secret: feelings don’t have to control us. We can be in charge of our responses.

So, as you embark on this journey to boost your confidence, remember that it’s a skill you can develop. Embrace the fear, get into your body, and understand that feelings are there to inform, not to control.

Let’s practice getting into our body.

When we are in our body, we are present. We can only tune into our inner wisdom when we are present so this is essential to true confidence.

There are several ways to do so. It’s all an attempt to get out of our overthinking brains and into our body of knowing. 

Tool Kit for this Lesson:

We can do a body scan at any time.

Breathe. Take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes and tune in.

Thank your brain for working so hard, this is a moment it can take a break. We’ll get back to the lists and the to-dos, but for the next few minutes, we’re just going to check in with our heart and body. 

Notice on the whole. Anything happening? Any feelings coming up?

Even if you can’t name the feelings, notice if any sensations are coming up for you. Feelings are merely sensations in your body and they can’t physically hurt you without the brain telling stories about them.

If you notice feelings in your body. Note to yourself I have sadness within me and that’s okay, or I have anger and that’s okay. (Let’s not say I am sad or angry. Feelings are with you, they are not the whole of who you are.) 

Then feel into your body – one body part at a time from head to toe.

Using our senses:

Take a breath and tune into your senses.

What can you see, hear, taste, smell, touch? Name them and focus on those sensations for several minutes.

These things may take some patience. Being still within ourselves can be challenging and you might not hear your inner voice or knowing right away. But even if you can give your brain permission to step down for just a moment, you are one moment closer to feeling good in your body and recovering that midlife confident mojo. 

Bonus Visualization: Body Scan Meditation

Note how you feel before and after this short meditation.

Tune in multiple times a day…

You’ll give your brain a break and begin to get more comfortable with the feelings.

See you in Lesson 2!