Daily a-ha!

A New Year – A New Focus

What does a new year mean to you?

For me, and the obsession I have for words and their impact on our thoughts, it is choosing a new focus provided I am complete with the old. I haven’t had a year yet where the word hasn’t changed or morphed into something more meaningful.

One year, my word was humility. It was a year focused on being humble and grateful. It was a year of learning and opening my mind to things I may have judged harshly in the past. It was awesome.

Last year, my word was trust. I focused on big shifts in my life… and shift it did. I spent most of the year occupationally in flux, unsure, uncertain and very curious with the constant letting go of anxiety in order to fall into flow and trust. I learned that even if I do nothing, meaning not ‘doing’ or ‘being productive’ all the time, I will still be ok. My world will not crash if I am not in constant Warrior mode. Continue reading “A New Year – A New Focus”

Forty is the new black

Yep, I said it and I mean it. These days, we all have the chance to make 40 feel like energy, passion, excitement, inspiration, purpose, and joyful. It’s about choices.

  • Like my choice to stand up and not take, “you’re just going to live with pain and intermittent health problems.”
  • Or my choice to be kind even when I’m a ‘victim’ of other people’s mistakes .
  • Or Michelle Brown’s way (if you’ve seen my show more than once you know Michelle) of saying the Multiple Sclerosis would not define who she is.
  • Or your choice to read this because you know something just ain’t as good as it could be

It’s all about choices – but the right ones at the right time.

12week sample daily postswith label (1)I’m offering the biggest gift yet to you for my birthday. A complete 12 week program for Wholeful Living – FREE. Continue reading “Forty is the new black”

Yesterday, someone rear-ended me at a stop light

newisi love is my giftHad this happened 10 years ago, I would have been full of attitude and expletives. I would have taken my turn to be the blamer and the victim. I would have shown that ‘I DON’T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW’ attitude and I would make sure everyone knew I was angry.

Yesterday was very different. It was a testament to the care I have started taking of myself – beyond food and exercise.

Yesterday was about compassion, but not for the other driver. This was a healing act of kindness and compassion for myself, for my human ability to make mistakes. Even deeper than compassion is the knowledge that even if I make mistakes, I am still worthy of love and connection.

One of the side-effects is that I started treating other people kinder than I did before, I show more patience and I use my words more carefullyjust like I care for myself now. (It’s a constant work in progress.) As I began to accept my faults and weaknesses, it became easier to accept other’s faults and weaknesses.

So I asked her if she wanted a hug.

There was no real damage (plastic bumpers sure save a lot on paint jobs) and she had a Lehigh University parking tag and looked horrified and scared. My first inclination was to hug her and trust me I’m not a touchy-feely person – especially when it comes to strangers. And I hugged her.

She insisted on sending me her information anyway and her message to me was full of gratitude and through her words, I know that she felt compassion and kindness. In fact, in her words: ‘…you are really a cooling breeze for me today‘.

I like that description. No. I love it.

What I like even better is that I FEEL really grateful and touched by the whole event. As if it gave me a reason to connect with someone, show compassion in a scary situation and be reminded how kindness really is its own reward.

May you find or be a ‘cooling breeze’ today.

Stop Squashing the Joy that’s Present

I cried with joy last night.

Let me explain because for me this is a big deal.

Whenever I had joy when I was young, I was told not to get too attached because it wouldn’t last. Hard work is what brought dreams I was told. It turned out to be true too. So after a few disappointments, I learned to hide my feelings, stuff them, ignore them or settle for them if I had to. I found ways to avoid them by working or with distractions. I was raised a warrior. The emotions of the lover archetype did and still do not come easy to me and that definitely includes tears – especially of joy. Continue reading “Stop Squashing the Joy that’s Present”

How We Break Habits (For Real)

Mindfulness and curiosity.

With my Summer TV Blackout – the 21 day detox of no TV (including Netflix online) – I’ve been thinking again how we break bad habits. If you’ve had a problem with food, smoking, drinking or even procrastinating, you know that quitting something isn’t as easy as it seems.

Habits create connections in our brain make-up and changing them is a process or we could end up right back at the start again, doing the thing we never wanted to do again.

I found this really great TED Talk about the science of how we create habits, and how we break them.


Not to spoil it for you, but it comes down to being mindful and curious. Instead of white-knuckling it through the craving, sit with it and be curious. Be curious about what your body really wants.

For example:

You want chocolate cake even though your goal is to lose some weight: what is my body needing that it thinks chocolate cake will fill.

You’re craving a cigarette after you’ve quit. What is triggering this craving? Boredom, sadness, stress?

Then – find another way to offer your body what it really wants.

Find a healthy snack that satisfies instead of cake. Find something to do that satisfies why you are triggered instead of smoking.

If you’re not sure why, don’t feel bad – it’s hard to pinpoint at first. Just be curious.

Here’s an exercise to try.

Sit down with the craving as if it were a friend (a nagging friend, and still a friend). Ask questions about it with compassion and understanding. Just be curious about the answers.

  • Why do you think I need {insert bad habit}?
  • How do you think it will make me feel if I do {insert bad habit}?
  • How am I rewarded for this habit? What consequences do I face if I don’t change?
  • What types of things can I do that would be better for me than {insert bad habit} and would make me feel how I want to feel from {insert bad habit}?

Be mindful about your choices – especially when you choose the bad habit. Be curious about if it is actually serving you in the way you’d like or if there is something that you’d find much more beneficial.

We have to replace bad habits with good, 99coverhealthy substitutions because without moderation, anything can become more destructive than constructive.

So for my friends that are on the TV Blackout with me, I’ve created a downloadable list, 99 Things To Do & TV Ain’t One. Although created for this challenge, it can be used for anything. Improve your creativity, abundance, mindset or physical health with activities offered to go enjoy the summer!

How We Give Our Power Away

This past Sunday we had an inspiring conversation about how we give our power away and the keys to regaining your power back.

What steals your power? Netflix? Time? Other people? Media? Circumstances?

We talked about ways we know when we’re giving our power away. Phrases like ‘can’t’, ‘but’, ‘I will be happy when xx’ happens’ and ‘I don’t have time to do what I really want’. We also talked about how blame and comparing ourselves to others can lead us to feeling pretty powerless.

So what can we do?

We came up with some keys tips to dealing with feeling powerless. Continue reading “How We Give Our Power Away”

How Netflix Sucks My Power

How do you give your power away?

We all give it to something sometimes. This past Sunday we discussed many different ways we give up power. From saying ‘can’t’ to focusing on blame rather than power, we have all offered our power away to shirk responsibility or hide from the shame of making a mistake.

Since that show, I’ve been thinking about how I give my power away. How can I move faster toward what I want instead of spending time on things that don’t bring me the growth both personally and professionally? Which brings me to:

My friend, my foe: NETFLIX.

For an introvert like me, Netflix is like the best thing including sliced bread. I don’t have to leave to even go to a Blockbuster now and I can get entire runs of shows that I would Continue reading “How Netflix Sucks My Power”