Episode 20: How to Have Pivotal Conversations

Guest: Ann Visser

Is there anything more uncomfortable than having a vulnerable, challenging conversation with someone you really care about?

In fact, many of us avoid these conversations. We think we're being 'nice' but really we're allowing the things we really want to share to go hidden.

Our relationships are stronger when we learn how to speak our truth and have those 'pivotal conversations'.

Today, our guest, Ann Visser, is going to give us the tools we need to have those uncomfortable conversations because she knows we're closer in relationships when we can share our truth and hear others… if we do it with care.

In this conversation:

  • Why pivotal conversations are essential (2:53)
  • Why it's hard to have these conversations for most of us (5:38)
  • How conflict can create more intimacy (8:34)
  • The mindset we want going into a pivotal conversation (12:12)
  • The 3 C's of pivotal conversations (13:16)
  • Looking at motive (19:21)
  • What to do when you want to do or say something rather than listening (26:10)
  • The most important question I ask myself for clarity before a pivotal conversation (34:37)
  • What Ann learned about people-pleasing (37:07)


About Ann:

Ann has been equipping individuals and organizations for over 20 years with the skills to communicate in a way that aligns with their values.

She is a Certified John Maxwell Team Life Coach, Speaker and Trainer with 4 Better 4 Ever, which she co-founded with her beloved husband of 42 years.

She has trained couples, young people, students, addicts in recovery, Christian women, and professionals..... in the areas of communication, leadership, relationships, mindset, and personal growth.

Connect with Ann on LinkedIn or go to her website.

Ann's 7-Day Challenge

Prepare For Your Next Pivotal Conversation! It's a gift to you from Ann. Get it here.

QUIZ: Relationship Strengths

Take the Relationship Strengths quiz here.


Email me and tell me what you think: christina@christina-smith.com

Tune in wherever you listen to podcasts:

Leave a Comment