Setting goals that reward you

On the Inviting Shift Show, I had coaches Clay Green and Michelle Brown join me to talk about setting goals so that we aren’t self-sabotaging and we get what we want on the way to the goal and when we get there.

I’ve written about expectations here. Expectations can create impossible goals if we let them go too far. They can get out of hand and then the big dream can seem ruined if it doesn’t live up to every detail you’d imagined. So we set a goal and let go of expectations. We still show up, we still aim at the goal, but we stay open to new opportunities and twists in the road.

It’s much simpler than it seems. The three of us were able to get to the nitty gritty and come up with the basics of goal-setting for goals you’ll actually enjoy along the way and when you get to point b.

#1 Know your why.

Before we can successfully do anything, we need to know why we are doing it. Why do I want this big goal? Or maybe you don’t even know what you want. This is also a good place to start.

This can be a vision board, but I want you to go deeper than pictures of boats, homes and whatnot. Go into the feeling. How do you want to feel? That is a really good why. Do you want to feel freedom, abundance, joy, vibrance, liveliness, energic, hopeful, loving? What are your feeling whys? (And don’t go with happy – that’s a very generic term. Get underneath the happy – what does that feel like to you?)

#2 Make a goal.

Now that you know why, we need the what. This is when SMART goals are helpful. Make a goal with measurable numbers, time frame, actions, etc. Look up SMART goals- I’m sure there’s hundreds of videos out there.

#3 Make daily goals.

Now that you have the big goal, break it down into small bits and plan out some action steps. If doing the steps bring you the why feelings while you’re doing them that’s awesome. If you have to do steps that don’t have you particularly feeling the way you want to, make an additional daily goal of doing one thing that helps you feel how you want to. For example, when I want to feel abundant, I practice gratitude. Or when I want to feel graceful, I wear a tiara. Do something that triggers that feeling for yourself every day. Then even if you don’t get your big goal, you’ve won all the other days of the journey.

#4 Show up and do the work.

Manifestation is a beautiful word, but it doesn’t mean we sit back and wait for the work to be done for us. We still have to show up and do the work, make the choices, and manage our plan. Let go of the expectations and trust that you are doing what you are supposed to do.

#5 Stay open to opportunities that arise.

The Universe is dying to offer more abundance, it’s waiting until you’ll see them. Be curious about what comes into your life and nurture connections. Something better than you could have planned or expected may be just around the corner – but you may miss it if you become too goal focus and put your blinders on. Be curious about how the universe is working for you, right in front of your nose.

We had an hour of awesome conversation about what goals are and what they aren’t, how we get there and what gets in the way. Unfortunately, Blab’s recording failed and the messages are there but the video is not. If you join us live, you’ll never have to worry about a recording.

Join us this Saturday, 11:00 am EDT on Blab. See the schedule here.

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