Anne Ruthmann joined us for the Inviting Shift Show to talk about her a-has around the choices she makes. Anne characterizes her life as being in a constant state of transition. Making 16 moves over the course of 36 years, she recalls that she only choose 3 of those moves for herself and that the rest were for her parents or her husband to find more ideal careers and places to live. She constantly wanted a feeling of being “settled” and to know what it was like to live in a community for more than a couple years.
Something ain’t right
Giving in to the fact that she wouldn’t be in one place for very long, she withdrew from making connections and creating friendships that wouldn’t last, which led to feeling isolated and depressed. She blamed the situation on her partner and felt frustrated that it was benefiting his career but taxing on her small business.
She knew that she valued her marriage as highly as she valued her family, and fully living those priorities helped her recognize what had been true all along.
“I’m choosing this.”-Anne Ruthman
A-ha in action
By recognizing her own choice to put her marriage and family above her own small business, she saw that it had been her choice to participate in these transitions all along. She could have left at any point and prioritized her business and her longing for feeling settled or reaching greater success above her family needs, but deep down, she identified that her family was her source of grounding no matter where she lived, or how far away they were.
Moving from “I have to” to “I am choosing this” brought with it a responsibility to make the most of each transition as a moment to find new opportunities and to edit out what wasn’t working anymore.
By recognizing that she had successfully made so many transitions before, she was able to say, “I’ve done this before, and I can do it again.” She no longer fears changes or longs to feel “settled” in one place anymore because she has recognized the strength and perseverance within herself to make the most of any new situation.
You can read about Anne’s shifts and a-ha moments on her blog here.
She’s also presented a TED Talk “What would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail?” Check it out.
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